Yes, it’s true. I spent this weekend with the ‘rents (YM Magazine circa 1995, I know you’re out there), doing some light outlet shopping, and… reading Twilight. But lots of other things happened this weekend too! Here’s our post-T-Day round-up. Let us know how your Thanksgivings went in the comments.
Tiger Woods was involved in a car accident, in which he sustained injuries after his girlfriend WIFE (who can keep them straight?) broke the back window of his SUV to save him. Oh, wait now, the wife actually also broke his face. And now he’s not talking to police. Ah, Tiger, when will you learn? The prettiest, WASPiest ones are always the ones that will break your face with a golfclub! We look forward to the Caddysmack NY Post headline.
Rumors have been swirling that Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon broke up. Those rumors were quickly denied when the Earth held a gun up to its head and claimed to no longer have a reason to spin. (Ed. Note: It’s been four long days since I’ve written a joke. And I’ve been reading Twilight. It’s going to take me a few hours to warm up, please be patient.)
David Hasselhoff has been taken to an involuntary psych ward. Doctor’s say he’s doing better, but are finding his habit of following up their diagnoses by hitting a buzzer with a red X attached just slightly annoying.
Meanwhile, his ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI. Which means somewhere, their sweet daughter is probably eating a hamburger on the floor, swiggin’ rum from a triple-x jar, just havin’ a little “her” time. (No, but really, poor girl.)
Tom Arnold got married.
Michael Lohan threatened suicide via Twitter. And while that’s exactly the kind of stupid sh*t we’ve come to expect from the Lohan’s (who are merely days away from discovering how to brush their teeth using only Twitter and some mint leaves), it was sadly a fake account.
As far as Twilight goes, I’m almost finished. Will obviously bring you my thoughts on it sometime tomorrow. Because there are many. Also, I found the above pic by Googling “Twilight Thanksgiving,” meaning the internet has finally done it and produced an answer for everything.
Go to Source
Related posts:
- 50 Photos of Terrifying Twilight Fans
- BEST DAY EVER THANKSGIVING: Keep Stuffing That Turkey, Ernie Anastos
- Tweengasm: Twilight Stars And Sleepy Koalas
- Holy F*ckballs, These Twilight Pillows Are Creepy
- PETA Continues To Target Primary Fur-Wearing Demo: NFL & Twilight Fans
November 30th, 2009
Posted in Best Week Ever