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Yesterday if you had asked me if I’ve ever seen Martha Stewart pole dancing, I would have been like, “No, I haven’t, why are you asking me this strange specific thing you strange specific stranger? Also you should start conversations with ‘hi’ or something.”

If someone asked me today if I’ve ever seen Martha Stewart pole dancing, I’d be like, “Why yes I have, I watched the video several times on the institution called the world wide web. I am still slightly taken aback by your very specific question before saying hi or introducing yourself, stranger, but you just so happen to be correct on this particular occasion.”

Frankly, I’m a little disappointed we didn’t at least get some sideboob:

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