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Ms. Underwood, I don’t think this really literal video about starry-eyed orphans getting placed in Foster Homes is trying hard enough to be sad. I think we need to add a part in the middle where you say goodbye to your father on his deathbed.

Sounds good! Let’s make it happen.

Also, what if we throw in Tom Hanks from Philadelphia and he’s been wrongfully imprisoned with Denzel Washington from The Hurricane, then they both get beaten to death by the hooligans at the end of Brokeback?

Love it. That’s why I hired you as my Executive Sad Things To Put In Music Videos Consultant.

An entire music video about Foster Homes and no one mentions that stupid babies need the most attention? I hate the music industry.

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