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Yesterday, the season finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey aired, after what seemed like a rousing 4 episode long season. And despite what Bravo touts as its “highest rated season ever”, we were left a bit unsatisfied with this Jersey crew. They were just sort of… rich. And uncouth. And boring. Because, really, how many times can you laugh at someone saying “bubbies”? The answer is three times — by the 45th reference, that (and small foreheads) had lost all sense of joy.

So why were we still watching, then? Well, of course, because we just HAD to know what got Teresa so riled up that she FLIPS A TABLE OVER AT A RESTAURANT! And, leave it to the geniuses at Bravo to save that fantastic bit of television history for the very end of the season finale. For those of you that were smart enough not to tune in, a summary: “She of the Shady Past” Danielle was invited to a Housewarming Party — at a restaurant, obviously — where we find Teresa talking about how often her husband wants to have sex with her, even post-surgery. Her kids, mind you, are a stones throw away, but no matter.

Strangely, Danielle — who, while she is clearly unbalanced and while I do believe the things written in that book are mostly true — has actually grown on me more than these other girls. I mean, look, is she a bad person? Maybe, but whatever, she at least seems partially genuine, if not insane. So, when Danielle removes the book from her bag and places it on the table, I’m actually sort of excited!! “Good fuh huh”, as the Jerseyans say. And while these animals spend the next 15 minutes arguing over who said what, there is really only one part you need to see: The soon-to-be-infamous “Prostitute Whoo-ah!” speech delivered by TT as she nearly flips a table over. Thankfully, the littlest children were not around to see this, 1:33 seconds of entertainment that could have saved me hours of my valuable life minutes:

Oh, that and Albie. That sexy son of a bitch.

By the way, Teresa may not have any skeletons in her closet, but we can almost guarantee that her husband has some in his meat locker. (CUE THIS SONG)

(with thanks to BSideBlog: Teresa 1, Table 0)
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1. Danielle Gets Mad on ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ (VIDEO)
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3. My Mother Recaps The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion, Part 911
4. Here’s The Best Thing to Come Out of the Real Housewives of New Jersey Premiere
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