The Mystery of Blanket Jackson: Solved.

Ay huevos mio! We thought they’d never figure this thing out.
PS, Someone might want to notify Helena, because please check out this b*llshit:
The woman was paid a mere $3,500 for her contribution and signed legal papers handing over all rights to the child. Her identity is an even bigger secret within the Jackson family. It is unlikely she was even told that her eggs were involved in Blanket’s birth.
$3,500?! That’s IT? Make this a lesson to all you poor college girls out there: Never settle for anything less than $10,000 for one of your eggs. Because you never know when that egg will go on to meet some famous-ass sperm in a dark alley somewhere and eventually produce a multi-millionaire baby named after a common household object. Though the idea of my little girl Febreeze Jones running around on some huge ranch out there is pretty special…
Related posts:
- Mystery Solved: Law & Order’s Detective Bernard Really Seems To Like Porn
- Mystery Solved: Jacob From Lost Actually Works For Jackie Treehorn
- The Greatest Mystery Of The 20th Century Finally Solved: David Geffen Is So Vain
- Snookie: The Blanket with Skeeves!
- Mystery Of The Century: Google’s Bouncing Balls Logo