RHONJ: Just Call Me Prosecution Whore
July 29th, 2010
I was so happy while watching this episode. Giddy, really! It was as if the vodka fairy came a knocking on my door with a lifetime supply of Grey Goose, and then a knight with shining armor made of equal parts ativan and percocet came riding up behind her. Joy! Love and light! Unicorns and cartwheels! Satchels of Gold!
Who am I kidding. IT SUCKED.
At least it started out with some cuteness. I love watching midget wrestling! Or Karate or whatever you call it. Taekwondo for future hobos? I get a real kick out of it, I swear! By the way, I’m just going to add exclamation points to random sentences in order to give the (false) impression of enthusiasm. It worked in 5th grade, why not now?
The little crumb grabbers need some way to get out their primeval primate aggression anyway, but before the wee scat pack can leave with Juicy, Teresa has to do their hair. I was going to give her shit for it until I realized that it’s probably a good idea to get some barrettes or ponytails in those mops since they’re going to be kicking and punching each other. Poor Gabby gets an owie because mommy brushed her face by mistake.
Geez, Teresa, ease up. She’s not as hairy as YOU.
Pulling back all those luscious locks is a good thing because grabbing your sparring partner’s hair is unsportsman-like! Actually, I have a really good suggestion. Shave their heads! Then Teresa can make wigs out of the hair and style them at her leisure between getting hit from behind and overseeing Nona’s housekeeping.
I’m so good at this. I should be the Suze Ormond of housewife tips. I’ll even write a book!
By the way, why the hell did none of you whores tell me that Bravo had a housewives book out? I had to find out at the cocktail mixer at my weekly Closet Racist meeting! I expect more from you sluts! You are not cutting it! From now on I’m punishing you by being at least FOUR recaps behind. So there!
And the auction. I am so jealous of njgasmfan. I want to go, BAD, and now that they’re auctioning off everything including the kid’s bedroom sets, the head shaving will save money on bows and save time when Teresa finds herself in a rush to make it to the pizza parlor on time to get the dough ready. Ooo, it’s gotta be hot in that kitchen in July. Yikes.
It’s a good thing she has a built-in sweatband
I do feel sorry for the girls, seriously, especially Gia. She’s going to have the most solid memories of living in the marble and onyx monstrosity. It’s got to suck to go from an embarrassment of riches to living like a regular schlub, but guess what? It isn’t too late for them to learn from it and it will build character, unlike Ashley and her predicament.
Anyhoodle, they get to the Martial Arts studio and change into their gi, and it’s actually not completely revolting to watch them have fun with Daddy Poorbucks, bowing to the others and showing respect.
“Bow to the nice teacher, girls, yer gunna need this training to help daddy fight off those bill collectors.”
I know a few people that grew up doing this stuff, like jeet kune do, including Mr. McSlore. They all became highly successful and insanely motivated. It’s an awesome thing to get your kid into, and if I hadn’t had that D&C my fully realized zygote would be at classes right now.
Oh my gawd. Milania looks like Teresa’s daddy. Compare and contrast, Gasmii, compare and contrast.
Her hairline is DOOMED.
They giggle and jab and kick and then gang up on Gia because Juicy promised them a really good hot dog if they beat the crap out of her. Sigh. Lovely to behold. How about we get rid of Teresa and turn the show into The Simple Life, with Joe and his four Schmoes traversing the country in an Econoline van, picking up adventures where they may? Please God, I mean Miss Andy?
Next time put them in those little sumo wrestling suits. I love that shit.
I have the perfect guy for the soon-to-be single Teresa. He’s loaded and likes ‘em hairy and stupid.
I didn’t specify MONEY loaded.
I like the cushy pink matted floor. I wonder if Bravo donated it from their extensive cache of Top Design rejects. I’m going to need an entire room of that stuff when this season is over, walls and ceiling included, right after I’m done rounding out my collection of Nazi memorabilia and pressing all my white robes.
The Giudice goobers aren’t the only ones getting their exercise today. Danielle has decided to protect herself from psycho aggro Jersey wummin and has allowed herself and her daughters to be dragged to a gym by Danny.
By the face, apparently.
The instructor is crazy hot. I don’t know how Danielle keeps her tights from falling down around her ankles. Maybe she has a special contraption that attaches any fabric in her crotchal area to her cootchie piercing. I think I saw that for sail in the SEEN ON TV aisle at CVS.
Christine is up first and she does really well. I don’t think that this is her first time in a boxing ring. Little Jillian does well too. How did they turn out so sweet and normal? Say what you want about Danielle but she raised two decent girls. She saves most of her drama for the cameras and you never hear one word about her being two faced, only insane. Oh my God, I’m defending a lunatic!
Your mother is smarter than I thought!
Think about it for a second while I salivate over the instructor some more.
Mr McSlore is off golfing with a guy from work today. I’m home all alo-one….tee hee…….ack! Danny, get out of the frame!
She baits a teenager that she KNOWS will take the bait and run amok with it. She knows this kid. She says later that she drove her to school and listened to her complaints all last year when she was getting shitty grades and blaming everything wrong in her life on her mommy’s ridiculously high expectations of a 1.5 average.
It doesn’t take a genius to understand the mind of a teenager. They are outrageous drama queens, self absorbed and drunk on their newfound power and independence. They think that no one has ever felt or experienced anything as much as they have. Their first kiss is the most important first kiss in the history of the universe, and the first time they jump to a logical conclusion on their own, they think they’re freaking Aristotle.
Danielle understands this. She also understands that teens are conversely insecure. They will agonize over the tiniest slight and dream up heroic acts of defiance that will to prove to the world that they are superior to the offending party, and that- no! They do NOT have fat arms.
Joker Face bet the odds that Ashley or one of the wummin would lose it, and she won! All she had to do was poke a bit here, prod a bit there and obfuscate the facts a willy nilly. She never even broke a sweat! That’s a good thing, frankly.
It probably smells of Vagasil and weave glue.
The hot guy shows her how to defend herself if anyone ever approaches her from behind again- insert doggy style joke here- so that she can protect her vulnerable side. Just give her a goalie mask, dude. It’ll save us all a lot of trouble. Or teach her some of that martial arts stuff, like the Giudice kids.
Taekwondog
Slightly off topic here- why the fuck does granny Eve live in a house the size of Hearts Castle? It has two turrets, for chrissakes! Who needs all that space? Does she take in boarders? Is she running a halfway house for former prostitution hoowahs?
I wonder if she makes her guests wear little bells around their necks so that they won’t get lost. You’d need to hand them a GPS when they walked through the door and hire an army of Merry Maids to keep the place dusted.
Or Nona and Papa. I hear they’ll have more free time after the auction.
Jackie is paying a visit along with baby Nicholas. She’s wearing Ed Hardy. HE has had to listen to more bullshit in his young life than most of us endure in a lifetime. Can you imagine if he were just one year older? He’d be scarred for life.
Jackie is still doing damage control. Sure, she’s upset that her daughter lost her temper but does she have to keep insisting that she thought she went home? PUH-LEASE. If you go back and watch the last episode they were standing together before the hair pullung jostling with the Teresabeast.
That also proves that Ashley knew that her mother wasn’t hurt. We have eyes, Jacqueline. We can see you and all the contemptable daffy shenanigans that you and your kid try to pull over on us. I still think that Ashley would have done WAY worse if she thought her mom was hurt. It would have fed her hatred and her need to be validated by her family, all at the same time.
Eve wants to make sure that Jacqueline understands that Ashley did indeed pull out Danielle’s weave. She saw it. She smelled it. She brushed the spooge droppings from it off of her mini skirt.
She also gives her a head’s up that Danielle might be planning to press assault charges. Jackie says that Ash will deserve it if Danielle does something. I say that Jackie is more upset that Ashley didn’t listen to her, and the subsequent family embarrassment than she is about Danielle being assaulted. She could give a rat’s ass. Danielle could be running around town looking like a chemo patient and she’d just make rancid jokes about it to Teresa.
It’s a sad, sad day when a visit to Caroline Manzo’s home becomes the palate cleanse of the season. It’s like Alex’s scenes from RHONY. I can settle back in my seat and give my fists a chance to unclench for a while.
Al Senior is playing with the dogs and Mama Manzo is inside making eggs for the kids. Albie asks for sunny side up which isn’t Kosher to do in this household. Caroline is not your personal short order cook, Albie you ADD do-nuthin.’
Work a day at The Brownnose. THEN we’ll talk.
I love how they shoot him withering looks. He really has fallen off his pedestal this year. He clearly doesn’t know how to handle it either. It’s like those guys that are gorgeous and popular in high school. They get bald and fat and end up sitting in their Lazy Boys at 35 drinking their fifth highball and wondering where all the admiring chicks went.
Al comes in and they start talking about the day’s business at The Brownnose. He wants Albie to fill in for him at Maitre D when he needs a break. Caroline says that working there would be like admitting failure. NO, doing nothing would be failure. Work is GOOD.
Everybody leaves except Albie and his mommy and she asks him what he’s going to do today. Why, he’s going to sit around and wait for his special letter! HOW ABOUT YOU STUDY? Especially since you think you’re too good to work at the place
THAT PAID YOUR WAY THROUGH UNDERGRAD
Sorry about the yelling. For all you newbies, I do that sometimes, between applying blackface and head banging in agreement to the Mel Gibson tapes, of course. And drinking.
Half a disappointed head cock. That’s got to be worth at least a swig of Dooley’s, right?
I like the t-shirt with Teresa’s picture on it. It’s awful nice of her to show her support. I just hope she keeps the eggs away from those kids. It’s pretty hard to wash out of granite and pink marble. All those nooks and crannies.
Across town, it’s just a regular old day for our forehead-less wonder. It’s her turn to close down the Posche nightclub this week and she heads on over there to apologize to Kim for stomping through the country club like King Kong and roo-ining her special evening of Forever 21 glitz and glam.
Kim’s cool with it. She’s cool with anything as long as you keep her stocked with libations and her regular collagen rations. A decent shoplifter could probably hide several thousand dollars worth of musty wrinkled Shore outfits under a trench coat and all she’d do is compliment them on looking fetchingly curvy as they walk out the door.
Teresa tries to spread more lies about how she’s such a softy that she simply HAD to say hello to Danielle at the country club. Having five kids will do that to ya, according to her.
Not to mention give you a healthy drinking problem.
Just once I would like to waltz into MY usual shopping haunts and have the cashier hand me a Mimosa. Sadly, none of the Salvation Army’s in Cleveland have caught on to the thirst I build up fingering old leather and wondering if some nick-nack won’t look so bad if I paint it green.
I know, I exaggerate. I really shop at more chichi places like Target. Only the best for the McSlores!
Teresa needs to quit with the excuses. Nobody’s buying it! She’s still trying to make sure that nobody thinks that her home is under foreclosure and she’s too dense to realize that all she’s doing is throwing more light on the situation.
They look at clothes and Eve walks in saying hello to Teresa and her suddenly cloudy face. Guess who doesn’t say “hi” back until she’s practically sitting on top of her? That’s right. Teresa. She Who Must Never Say Hi First. She has no problem wearing fur on top of fur though.
It must be those old sensory memories from living in caves.
More lies. Teresa says that she’s glad she kept her hands to herself and didn’t hit Danielle since she knows how sue happy she is. Ri-ight.
Eve had to practically staple herself to you to keep you from biting a chunk out of Danielle’s skull, asshole. You were chomping at the bit and the only reason you aren’t facing charges yourself is because you got slowed down by all the women you were dragging behind you.
But, no. Teresa only wanted to get in Danielle’s face. That’s all. She has four beautiful daughters (BEAUTIFUL, mimics Kim, ever the suck-up of a shopkeeper) and a gorgeous husband at home to think of. Why would she jeopardize that? Also, the boutique is a tad overstuffed, wouldn’t you say?
Perfect for hiding bodies
The only thing we really learned from this excursion is that Eve is only friends with Danielle out of pity. She left out the part about dying to be on TV but that’s okay. We all knew that.
In interviews Teresa makes a crack about regretting that she pushed Eve because Eve’s old and she respects the elderly. She also has a huge mansion and doesn’t have to sell off any of her bedroom furniture. Some people make fun of older jersey girls, but I think they’re just jealous. Ahem.
We’re about to learn something else on this show. Ashley’s boyfriend Derek has an opinion. They’re discussing the weave pulling as Ashley antagonizes the dog. What’s she gonna do next,
start harassing five year olds on facebook?
He tells her that while he agrees that Danielle deserved to be put in her place, it should not have been Ashley to do it. Caroline brings up the “Mommy Jackie was hurt” defense and then helps matters further by sending the mixed message that Ashley did wrong but for the right reasons.
Woman, you weren’t there! Stop towing the party line about Ashley defending her mother! It’s a lie and the judge isn’t going to give a shit. Do the only thing you can and see if the magistrate presiding is bribe-able. This is getting old.
Assley doesn’t understand why Danielle is so obsessed with her. Um, you take the bait like a good little fishy? You are pretty much throwing the line for her and then jumping into the cooler on the boat.
Derek yawns and tries to explain this to her, to no avail. He gets a “whatever,” for all his troubles. Someone tell me why he is with this idiot. There has to be better snatch in the neighborhood. Chicks that go to jail for better things. I mean, at least get a good story out of it, something to tell your grandkids.
Beating up whores is SO 1979.
Hey! Milania picked the lock on her cage again! Now she’s defacing state line markers on the Garden State Parkway!
Is that simple assault of a sign or is it aggravated monkey business?
Somebody ask Albie. Oh wait, I forgot. Nobody answered the phone that day. Yeah, and the dogs ate your LSATs. We’d have better luck asking the girl that’s playing Elle Woods in the off-Broadway production of Legally Blonde.
This is the scene that makes it all worthwhile. The moment where we can all watch and see the angel of divine retribution finally sit up and take notice.
The pizza shop.
Juicy is giving Teresa a tour today. His construction business isn’t doing very well so he did the smart thing and went with something he probably should have gone with in the first place- a pizza parlor/laundromat with apartments above it. it’s simple, it’s an honest day’s work and you can feed a family on the earning as long as your wife isn’t trying to furnish your home like one of the palaces of the Medicis.
Or buying jewels from the Vatican like Jacqueline.
I get the impression that Teresa thought that showing the new enterprises would be one way to refute allegations that they were doing badly financially. Juicy, on the other hand, is trying to ease her into the idea that they are going to have to cut WAY back on their lifestyle.
She calls him an ‘ahn tru puh newer’ and then asks if that means someone that owns their own businesses. No, honey. It means that you need to go back and enroll in kindygahdin like Billy freaking Madison.
And who made your sweater, Squidward?
Perhaps the sleeves are stretched out from all the little capuchins that hang from them every day. Wiser to invest in tighter knits, my dear.
Juicy shows her where she’ll be making the pizza dough and then her dishwashing station. She just laughs and laughs. Silly Juicy! Tee hee. Teresa is too pretty to work, ya big lug! Who’s gonna polish all that marble is she’s here unloading pie boxes and syrup for the soda machine?
The person that always does it. Say it with me, Gasmii. NONA.
Silly, silly Juicy! Teresa isn’t going to be working there! It’s true. They probably don’t even own the place by now. They’re gonna be living above it, that’s for sure, but working there? We’ll have to wait a month and check with the new owners, the Federal Government.
How prescient can you get? He then shows her where they will be living when they get kicked out of their house. Hahahahahahaha!!!!! No sooner had I written the words from the last paragraph on my little Twunty notepad and, BAM! They come out of Juicy’s mouth. Thank goodness I wasn’t drinking anything. There would be a doggy in the washing machine right now.
It’s all so jarringly ironic, dontcha think? He shows her their future mailbox and all she can do is make a half hearted joke about the apartment number being 69.
Think closer to 11, you know. Like a certain chapter.
The tour that follows seems to scare her a bit. This is no longer funny. She looks around the place as if it were all a terrible mirage, not real and certainly nowhere she would ever hang her newsboy cap. Why, it’s not new! People have lived there before and skeeved up the place! It’s inhuman, I tell you!
It’s okay. I’m sure they’ll get a bailout from their ‘family,’ or they could just send one of the girls out back to dig one of the cashboxes out of the yard. They better get those before the moving vans come anyway.
It’s all a big tissue of lies. Does anyone on this show tell the truth on any kind of regular basis? Not Danielle. She’s so full of shit with her fake magnanimity. I believe that she feels sorry for Ashley almost as much as I believe that she has an actual heart instead of a nice big cold lump of coal where on should be.
She’s at a restaurant drinking tea with Danny and Johnny Bubblegum. They must be paying. Tea isn’t free. Maybe she’ll splurge and order a cup of broth too.
What DO zombie prostitutes eat these days?
The blame for Ashley’s actions gets planted firmly at Jacqueline’s feet. A year ago Ashley was telling Danielle how much she loved her and crying her eyes out over how hard it was to fit in with the Manzo/Lauritas. I don’t doubt that for one second but I do take issue with the idea that it was so terribly hard to be a stepchild to Chris. Ashley is spoiled rah-in! If it were any worse she’d have her own show on E!
If anything Jackie and Chris OVERcompensated by giving her too much stuff without expecting enough in return. Remember how she laughed when her mom asked her to clean her room? That was not the way a kid used to expectations would behave.
Still, it doesn’t change the fact that Danielle dragged her into this mess by telling the whole world that she needed to tone her arms. God, I feel retarded just typing that. She egged it in and egged it on and now she claims that she wants it all to stop and the big mean bullies to leave her alone.
Little Miss Victim thinks that Jacqueline should teach Ashley how to deal with their issues in a more respectful manner. You know, like calling someone less than half your age a coke whore, or bringing Hell’s Angels to a baby cancer fundraiser. Classy stuff like that.
She does get one thing right even though it’s probably a slip of the tongue. She says that she wants to live her life without validation, mission accomplished! Then she tells Danny that all she needs are her lovely special rented friends and two bit thug buddies. he says that she can trust him with anything, except her friends. haha!
Dude, if you want to fuck Eve, you’re gonna need a tube of lube the size of a caulking gun.
They’re on their own anyway. That’s what loyal Danielle said. Can she even hear herself talk? She just said that ALL THAT MATTERS IN THE WORLD is her friends and then said they were on their own around her ex-con street hustling routine blow job compadre, Danny.
Albie got his letter. Now he can reapply to the state school of his choosing. Mama Manzo isn’t happy because it’s vewwy vewwy far away. She threatens to go with him. I hope she brings his favowit blankie and the big boy sippy cup.
“I got a letter, mommy, and it’s not from Santa!”
We wouldn’t want him listening to the meanies that tell him he can’t be whoever he wants to be. He might flunk out again. Who will represent the extended family in all those inevitable bankruptcy hearings? Who will high five the mama’s boy?
Who will wipe his ass when he shits his pants while taking the Bar Exam?
I have a surprise for you guys. Look!
And I’m not talking about Bankruptcy Whore’s slow morph into Karen Hill.
It’s baby Audrianalamadingdong! She fell out of her tree or carpet covered cat scratching post and came out to play! It has to be the alluring wafts of pizza aroma. it’s like catnip to a Sicilian.
The whole family makes a pie which daddy Juicy bakes for them. It’s so cute and so simple and homey. It’s the perfect picture of warm family values
Starring Rambo, Betty Rubble and Fred Flintstone.
I think Teresa gets up in the morning, looks in their closet and then picks out whatever looks least appropriate. She gets her fashion sense from Stallone movies and the Bratz aisle at Toys R Us.
Another surprise is in store for us! Danielle is visiting the courthouse to make her formal charges against Ashley, and look who is with her!
Edie the Egg Lady!
Now that Divine is dead, she moved up in the world, cleaned up and found some new trash to hang around! I’m so happy for her even if her friends look like those ladies that hobble around the nursing home eating frozen hot pockets since they don’t know how to work those newfangled lycra-wave ovens.
For some reason Danielle needs two attorneys. It takes more than one to handle the incredible tower of bullshit so the main guy got a little nerd to help him.
I sure hope they don’t mind getting paid in Herpes sores.
The attorney wants to know exactly what was said at the fashion show and Danielle decides to embellish a teensy bit and claim that the wummin yelled “I’m gonna get you,” and someone even said that they were going to kill her.
C’mon now, Danielle. You’re lucky you got this far. Don’t push things to the point where you end up looking completely unbelievable. Ah, the girl can’t help it. She eats extortion for breakfast and dines on fabrication for supper.
The rented friends tell the lawyers that all they heard was a bunch of name calling, no threats. Nobody said they were going to murder her and dump the body in the Fresh Kills.
They enter the courthouse to flashbulbs and preposterous pontificating from our new Prosecution Whore. She says that Ashley must be punished or everyone is at risk for harm! The scene cuts to an ominous view of a cloudy sky. the heavens open up and we’re all in danger, Gasmii! Run for your lives!
What’s Ashley going to do, beat us all to death with her dunce cap?
What a joke. Maybe the brainiac is an idiot savant and spends her days building a death ray in her boyfriend’s mommy’s basement. I’m sure that if she doesn’t spend her 2 days in jail and pay her $200 fine, she’s going to go all Andrew Cunanan on us and leave a path of dead people from Trenton to Tampa.
Bleh. What’s Jacqueline doing about all this? Why, she’s visiting Caroline so that she can raise her daughter for her! I wish she’d thought of that sooner. Like 15 years sooner.
Albie’s moles in the courthouse told him that Danielle filed charges and Caroline passes that info on to Jackie. And yes, Jacqueline. A convicted felon has every right to press charges on a loudmouth weave yanking teen.
Too bad the same rules don’t apply for shit stirring former cocktail waitresses that look like Greasers.
Caroline tells her that Danielle is trying to hurt their family in any way she can. Yep, and you are making it super easy for her. Ashley arrives and I loved how Caroline described her reasons for helping her. She calls her ‘Aunt Caroline’ so it’s her responsibility to set her on the right path. That was a really charmingly veiled way of saying that she isn’t blood and she barely gives a shit.
I don’t blame her, though. Ashley sits there and giggles over the fact that she will probably go to jail. I don’t know how Caroline resists the urge to strangle her with a string of garlic or bludgeon her with her head cock of death.
“Tee hee. Jail’s cool, right? Like a spa with orange jumpsuits where you can get really awesome tattoos!”
They ask her if she threatened Danielle in any way and she says that all she did OTHER THAN PULLING HAIR OUT OF HER HEAD was tell her stay away from her family.
Then Ashley asks Jackie if Danielle is pressing charges to get back at her for ending their friendship. Jackie looks at Caroline as if she has all the answers in that ample bosom of hers, hopefully one overlooking the glaring fact that Ashley committed assault.
I’m getting really fucking sick and tired of Jacqueline and her attitude. She wants everything to go away, Slurry style. She wants Ashley to stop but doesn’t know how to do that since she can’t even make herself stop. That’s your problem right there, asshole. If you can’t be a parent, you have no business having kids! She might as well be raised by Caroline’s dogs.
She then says that she felt like something was going to lappen that night before they all went. Then you shouldn’t have gotten trashed, you grotesque dunderhead!
So stupid, and Ashley is loving this. She is eating it UP. She loves having an enemy, as does Danielle. It’s out of control on all of their part’s and it’s no accident that the people with the least stable lives are feeding the most on the drama. The voices of reason like Dina and Caroline lead relatively normal lives and are BUSY, let’s not forget that.
Outside of the courthouse, darkness has fallen and Danielle’s attorneys are informing her that the case is in the hands of the State now. She won’t be needing them anymore because the prosecutors take over when a police report is made. Yay! Danielle won’t have to pony up a huge retainer. More money for botox and strip mall plastic surgeons!
Pull your face up, Danielle. It’s starting to slide.
She says that the judge was really disturbed when he read that a nineteen year old was responsible for this outrageous egregious assault upon her fake hair.
Are you sure it wasn’t when he found out you were 47, not 67?
If AShley disputes the charges, which she will, Danielle will have to be in court. She’s back to interviewing in that slow, improperly enunciated syntax of hers when she says, “I would hate to think that anyone deserves to go to jail…..” when you damn well know that she wants them all in a jail cell crying and bemoaning their fate. She wants a scene straight out of A Christmas Story where Ralphie fantasizes that his family begs for forgiveness while worshiping at his feet.
We must be getting close to winter now because our closing scene shows Eve hustling her brittle ass over to Jackie’s house with the morning paper.
Grab your hoveround, old fart, you’ll get there faster.
Jackie answers the door and doesn’t want to let her in to listen to any more of her two faced bullshit. She lets her in because it’s cold out and she doesn’t want the fussbudget to turn purple on her faux chateau’s doorstep.
Eve refuses to apologize for accompanying Danielle to the courthouse because the poor woman has no friends and then Eve makes fun of the picture in the paper of the four women locking arms, calling them a busted version of Sex and the City.
More like the Bitches of Beastwick
I will give Eve points for admitting to playing both sides of the fence. She doesn’t hesitate to tell her that she doesn’t tell Danielle that she talks to Jacqueline and vice versa.
When Jackie tells her that she’s not being a good friend to either of them, she comes right out and says bullshit, she is being a damn good friend to danielle since if you don’t spit on the woman you’re pretty much a saint in New Jersey.
She then offers to go to court with her and Ashley since she probably won’t be friends with Danielle by that time anyway. Unreal. Does granny have a soul? Did she go through the mirra at Teresa’s house party?
And Jacqueline’s argument explaining why Danielle should drop the charges is so stoopit that I refuse to repeat it. Her logic is as flawed as Juicy’s business practices and her brain operates on the same level as a lobotomized sorority chick after too many bong hits.
Are these people even remotely redeemable? The previews show Juicy and Chris Laurita talking about how shitty their finances are. Is a Jacqueline financial meltdown going to be next?
I see that they’re already trying to save on electricity.
Hey! Candles are romantic! They only light them after CJ and Nicholas are in bed and Ashley is wearing her drool bib in front of her computer screen, updating her Facebook status from ‘last night was un-be-weavable’ to ‘Jailturd.’
Love and Kisses,
Twunty McSlore
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