Well — it’s been fun, everyone, but when Prince speaks, so it shall be:
“The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it…The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good…They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”
Pretty spot-on, Prince — the internet really does just fill your head with numbers. Especially the Numb3rs blog.
I guess with the internet on the outs, we’ll have to go back to calling travel agents to book flights, going to the library to look up movie casts, and purchasing music ever. Also, I’ll be out of a job soon, but thankfully I’m a veritable Swiss Army Knife of marketable job skills; I can quote The Simpsons with lightning speed, I can sing any Rent part, and I’m really good at picking out the Cracked.com posts on Gorillamask. I’ll be a CEO in no time.
Before the internet goes off the air, it’ll be playing this video:
Man, with the internet gone, think of how hard it’s gonna be to instantly watch really specific clips from 20-year-old movies for the purposes of one referential joke. I’ll have to start the joke, then organize a carpool to a Film Festival that’s showing Gremlins 2, and I’ll have to find out about that Film Festival by calling indie video stores listed in the Yellow Pages then driving to the festival using road maps. I think it’s gonna work.
And for the record, when the internet does finally go off the air, it’s actually gonna be playing this video: