Memo To ESPN: Tiger Woods’ Mother-In-Law Isn’t Part Of The Sex Scandal, Unless He Slept With Her
December 10th, 2009
On ESPN last night, the Sportscenter intro included the tease:
“New developments in the Tiger Woods case! See what happened that brought ambulances to his house!”
The show then opened with this story about Tiger Woods’ mother-in-law Barbro Holmberg being taken to the hospital, with ESPN playing the entire 9-1-1 call and repeatedly showing grainy helicopter surveillance footage of the mother-in-law being loaded into an ambulance.
I understand that anything Tiger Woods is going to be news this week (or any week), and that ESPN felt obligated to pass along any breaking information from his house during their round-the-clock coverage, but that being said: IT’S NOT PART OF THE F***ING TIGER WOODS SCANDAL.
You can’t just lump Barbro Holmberg’s stomach pains in with Tiger Woods banging cocktail lounge waitresses just because this week is this week. ESPN deliberately teased the story as though another mistress had come forward or there was a legal development or another juicy sex detail leaked about sexy sex penis. I guess as long as you’re paying eighty reporters strategically positioned around the Woods premises 24/7, might as well put ‘em to work?
That’d be like ESPN reporting, “Andre Agassi just admitted to doing crystal meth, but wait’ll you see what happened at his home today!” followed by a story about his daughter scraping her knee, complete with digitally enhanced blimp footage of Steffi Graf applying Neosporin to a bandage.
If Holmberg comes forward and shockingly admits she’s one of Tiger’s mistresses, and her chest pains were caused by sex with Tiger, then yes, by all means ESPN, cover the crap out of that; I know it’s what you were secretly hoping would come out in the ten seconds between teasing the story as a “new Tiger scandal development” and the report trying to make it seem like a new Tiger scandal development. But until that happens, could we toss the audio of 9-1-1 calls aside and just stick to speculative Grand Theft Auto simulations? Much appreciated.
Related posts:
Posted in Best Week Ever