Man Segways Into the Afterlife By Riding Off Cliff

Here is one of those rare tragic stories that you will feel terrible about after finding funny. But really, it’s sad. No, really.

Jimi Heselden is a British entrepreneur who, back in December, took over the company that manufactures Segways. Once billed as the device that was going to revolutionize the transportation industry, the Segway ended up becoming a device that revolutionized how stupid security guards look at shopping malls. The Segway was the Edsel of the new Millennium.

But Mr. Heselden did not let that stop his dream of taking over a company that had in a way turned into a first-world joke. He had big dreams. BIG dreams. He was going to show those people that rolled their eyes at him at the company Christmas party. He would take the Segway to the top.

Of a cliff. And then fall off of it.

And that is exactly how Jimi Heselden died. Riding his Segway off of a cliff.

It’s a tragic story, certainly. But in this day and age where the internet can make a previously unknown man instantaneously famous, it’s a story that must be shared. We’re just sad Jimi only saw the fame he thought his Segway deserved as a result of his death.

Why did it have to be him?? Why God? Why couldn’t you have taken one of the dozens of other people on Earth who own this deadly device?? Someone, like, say, for instance:


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