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Tired of Western Pennsylvania fireworks dealers that always let terrorists come in and buy fireworks and ruin the 4th of July by holding their sparklers all terroristy?

Then come to Kellner’s Fireworks, the first fireworks outlet with the guts to specify in its commercial “Americans Welcome! Terrorists NOT Welcome!”:

Nice try, literal Osama Bin Laden! You are not welcome to enter this Pennsylvania fireworks dealer to purchase fireworks. What did the ad JUST SAY? Only Americans are welcome, and possibly non-terrorist foreigners with kempt beards. Can’t you read this embroidered pillow with our company slogan stitched onto it?

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