Jail: Now With 100% More Lindsay Lohan!
July 7th, 2010
So, what’s going on here is that Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. Look, TMZ even has a video of her being sentenced.
See her face? That’s Lindsay’s just-got-jailed face. She violated her parole by… I… I don’t know. She didn’t go to drug classes? It’s somewhere along those lines. To be entirely honest with you people, I just don’t know much about Lindsay Lohan. But this is, after all, a pop culture blog, and I feel obligated to write something about it. So what follows here is the something that I will write about this.
Here is my imitation of me (who knows next to nothing about Lindsay Lohan’s life) trying to explain to an old person (who actually knows nothing about Lindsay Lohan’s life) what is going on right now in Lindsay Lohan’s life. Check it out after the jump.
NOAH: Here are your pills. Also Lindsay Lohan is in Jail! Can you believe it?!
OLD PERSON: Thank you so much for all of my pills. Who is Lindsay Lohan?
NOAH: You’re welcome for all the pills. Lindsay Lohan is an actress.
OLD PERSON: What is she in?
NOAH: Well, nothing recently. But she sure used to be in things!
OLD PERSON: Then why is she still famous?
NOAH: Because she drinks. Or something.
OLD PERSON: She drinks?
NOAH: Yeah! Cocaine I think. I think she drinks cocaine. And she had an ankle made out of police that said she violated her parole.
OLD PERSON: What?
NOAH: Dude, I don’t know. Can I have some of your pills?
OLD PERSON: Okay, but don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to get in trouble and end up in jail like Lindsay Lomax!
NOAH: Lindsay Lohan.
OLD PERSON: Get out of my assisted living facility.
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