Fox To Reboot Fantastic Four; Hopefully “Reboot” Means “Make Not Stupid”
Following the hugely successful reboot of the Batman franchise, Fox has announced that it will attempt to also reboot the Fantastic Four franchise, and by “franchise,” they mean “two films that were the equivalent of swallowing a balloon and calling it a meal”:
20th Century Fox is the latest studio to start the process of overhauling one of its big Marvel Entertainment franchises, “Fantastic Four,” which has already hatched two films. The studio has hired Akiva Goldsman to oversee the re-boot as producer.
Here are a few suggestions off the top of my head about how to improve the beleaguered Fantastic Four film franchise:
– Mr. Fantastic learns martial arts from Liam Neeson in a mountain retreat.
– Human Torch is played by Christian Bale; Dr. Doom is played by Heath Ledger.
– Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman are all in the movie, playing characters named “Fantastic Gordon,” “Alfred Four,” and “Fantastic Four Morgan Freeman Guy,” respectively.
– The Thing confronts his childhood fear of bats and becomes a hero called “Bat Man.”
– Christopher Nolan scripts and directs the movie.
– The movie is The Dark Knight.
Other suggestions on how to improve the Fantastic Four movies? Other than “doing anything?” Leave ‘em in the comments!
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