Archive for the ‘TVgasm’ Category

Kell on Earth: Flinstones Vitamins Runway Hour

This week’s Kell on Earth gives us more empowerment in the form of being alternatively bitchy, overworked and overwhelmed. And under-appreciated. Also, Kelly markets her book a lot and somebody actually cries outside!

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I don’t care what country you’re in. This shirt is no ok.

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Drag Race: The Bitch-elorette

This week on Drag Race, the laydiez get their white tulle on, Morgan and Raven behave like asses (surprise surprise) and I fall just a bit more in love with Tatianna as she totally calls Tyra out on her shit! Awwwww, yeah.

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Prepare to get serrrrrved, hooka!

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About Last Night: Millionaire Matchmaker, 90210, Lost

Last night, 90210 came back, Ben went towards the light, and a rich dude fell for a farmer. Come on in!

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American Idol: I Don’t Know What Kind of Aaaaartist You Aaaare!

Tonight, the girls who suck consistently are awesome and the awesome girls suck. Way to change it up, Idol!

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Well, at least someone’s consistent.

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Damages: Pilots of the Caribbean

In what was arguably the best episode of the season, Damages put the Tobin case on the backburner this week, and got back to doing what it does best – reveling in the dark, twisted relationship between Ellen Parsons and her mentor-cum-rival, Patty Hewes. The formidable foes spent the majority of the episode in a deliciously catty pas-de-deux, with poor, naïve Alex caught in the middle, as usual! The episode constantly teetered on the edge of daytime soap opera silliness, threatening to turn into a cheesy, Sapphic subplot from The L Word. But Glenn Close and Rose Byrne play it up with such intense ferocity, it’s truly terrifying. And like any two lovers on a trial separation, they ultimately can’t deny their unbridled passion for each other.

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Real Housewives of Orange County: Egregious At The St. Regis

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It’s over, Gasmii. The End. The original of the franchise is played out and past it’s prime. I’m a little teary (on the inside, just like Tamra) and ask myself if this show would still be as hard to watch if the bottom hadn’t fallen out of the economy. I think that I said it a couple of weeks ago but it’s worth repeating- it’s just not as enjoyable to make fun of people when they are down and truly suffering.

And the abuse! It’s in almost every frame, be it emotional, verbal or of the alcohol variety. Simon was the worst offender. Is there a 12 step program for being a prick? He needs to start attending those meetings STAT, and maybe Miss Andy can start her own Tool Academy for middle aged divorcees.

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About Last Night: Damages, Kell on Earth, Fantasia for Real, 24 Character Rankings

Last night in TVland, Martin Short was creepy, 24 was stupid, Kell was empowered, and Fantasia ended. Come on in!

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Go ahead and free yourself, girl.

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America’s Best Dance Crew: GagMe With A Jump Rope

Tonight’s America’s Best Dance Crew is all about Lady GagMe. In case you haven’t yet guessed, GagMe makes me want to puke. Going into this challenge I was sure I’d be ready to stick ice picks in my ears before we were even halfway through. But I have to admit, the dancing distracted me from my GagMe hatred.

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Now if only it could distract me from this idiot. 

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Milllionaire Matchmaker–Seinfeld, Sausage, and Not Bill Gates

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Welcome back, my ever-lovin’ Gasmii fans! Did you miss me? Did you miss Patti? I guess Lindsay Vonn and Apollo Oh-No! trumped millionaires making fools of themselves last week, but I sure relished the night off to sit around in my snowflake jammies, guzzling back a little too much chocolate wine. What, you hadn’t heard? It looks like YooHoo and reportedly contains red wine, but it really just tastes like watered-down Bailey’s. Perfect, though, as a pre-bedtime knockout. Much like this show.

Anyway, we’re back with a new jam this week, only it’s a remix. Remember Jimmy D? That Chi-town douchebag with the big mole under his eye and the penchant for talking in the third person? It’s too perfect, but it really is just like Jimmy on Seinfeld. “Jimmy D. is lookin’ for a classy lady, a girl who can keep up with Jimmy.” Ugh. Well, he’s back. Our new contestant to the Thunderdome this week is Mateo, a former Microsoft exec with a beary belly and a boner for Christians. Let’s go!

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About Last Night: Oscar Edition

The Oscars were full of self love, dirty looks, and even some pretty dresses! Come on in!

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