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Archive for the ‘Best Week Ever’ Category

Celine Dion and her family posed for the cover of Canada’s famous weekly magazine 7 Jours. I love it. In fact, this might be my favorite Celine Dion Joint since her epic Larry King appearance a few years ago. What do we love about it? Here are 7 things:

1. Celine Dion is a goddess — this I believe we can all agree on — and as yet more proof, she sat for a magazine cover photo with no makeup on. And given that she is 11 months pregnant, we think she looks pretty beautiful. You know… for her. (Ed. Note: She was given her vocal chords by the same person that molded Mozart’s brain, so who gives a sh*t what she looks like? Annnyway…)

2. Ah!! Is that her son, Rene-Charles??? He’s such a little man now!! Though we do miss his luscious locks (which could have easily been turned into a wig for her bald husband, Also Rene):

3. …And then he could keep it knot-free using a “Comblée,” which we will forever assume is French for “comb” without Googling.

4. Why hello there, Guillaume Lemay-Thivierge. Cool leather necklace! Wait, is Thivierge the French word for “anonymous sex”? Because, in that case, I would probably Thivierge him.

DOG FACE CLOSE-UP AHEAD.

5. Even 13 years after her death, Canadians are still trying to figure out if Princess Diana was assassinated or not. Next week:

6. SO PREGGERS! Another Little Dion in this world is more than OK with us. We want her to have a litter of children, as the odds of one of them being a MANIACAL MUSICAL GENIUS would greatly increase.

7. DOG FACE. This is our favorite thing about the cover, actually. Close up!

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You know how we all love dates? Not awkward romantic dates, but calendar dates wherein the actual numbers are signifcant? Like, remember when it was 12:34 and 56 seconds on July 8, 2009? That was something, right? Or maybe it wasn’t.  It’s stupid either way. A bit more interesting was the Back To The Future date hoax. Basically, we love when dates are something to be noted. Because what the eff else would we Twitter about? Today is no exception. It’s probably the most notable date…of note in a while. Because it’s everyone’s favorite 90′s teen soap opera day: 9/02/10. In honor of this day and those who begat him, Josh Schwartz twittered this:

Cute. Hey, do you ever just wonder what Ian Ziering is doing right now??

Via NY Mag

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Splash News Online has some sneaky photos of some of our most beloved Mad Men cast members shooting an upcoming episode of the series.

Because we are ladies like that, we won’t give away any spoilers before the jump. Although, to be fair, there really aren’t ANY spoilers… just things… that are strange… and make very little sense.

OK! First up, we’ve got Hamm being dressed by a Cesar Milan lookalike:

I think we can all agree Miss Blankenship did it better:

PS Wait, did Cesar Millan join the cast? I smell Sal love interest!

So what can we figure out from these photos? Well 1:

Sally and Bobby go to the pool wearing full knit jumpers. Sticking their hands in the pool is the most childlike happiness they’ve experienced in the past three years.

2: The pretty secretary with the teeth, Maggie Siff, is there. And we think she may have had Don’s illegitimate baby? (Update: A commenter writes that this is not, in fact, Maggie Siff — who was actually Rachel Menkin. We still, however, think it’s weird-toothed secretary… The jury is out.)

Maggie, SUPPORT THE HEAD!

But, in all seriousness, why is she there? Is she Don’s new girlf? CAN THIS MAN NOT NOT PUT HIS PENIS INTO SOMETHING?

Of course not, can you blame him? LOOK. AT. HIM.

Leave your best guesses as to what’s happening in the comments. Are the in California for you know who’s secret cancer funeral? We hope not.

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Zoolander jokes, am I right? But seriously. In the film Zoolander the fashion line Derelicte, as conceived of by Will Ferrell’s Mugatu, is homeless person style. And, behold: A homeless Gaga. If homeless people sculpted their hair into Statue of Liberty points, burned paper, had shopping carts and collected Marc Jacobs’-yep. That’s basically the perfect description of a homeless person in NYC. Check, check, check, check. The fashion industry, as ever, is a parody of itself. Congrats!

Check out ONTD for other versions of the cover

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Do you know or are you yourself a gay man? First of all, hellewwww, we’d be like BFF. Second of all, put everything down, shut off all of your electronic appliances (except for your comp), draw the blinds, and LISTEN. Because we have actual video footage of Inception star and possible bi-ess-you-al (bisexual) Tom Hardy working out with his trainer.

This video includes classic exercises such as “Running on the Ground with Paper Towel Shoes,” “Skull Push-Ups,” and “Ass Extendos.” Rarely can a video simultaneously turn you on while also making you feel like the laziest piece of sh*t that’s ever lived.

Thank you ONTD!

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Well aren’t I glad I dragged myself into the office today after about seventeen weeks of working from home. (Thank you Dan Hopper for leaving so that I may sit at your desk, go through your things, rearrange your computer files, frame you for international espionage). Otherwise, I would have never ridden the elevator and caught the elevator news. We have elevator news here at Viacom. It’s pretty 21st century. And on the elevator news it said that Ferrari has recalled the 458 Italia model SUPERCAR because they’ve been EXPLODING. That is so effing metal! I bet it’s not a design flaw, it’s just that there’s a self-destruct button built in and all the people who drive the SUPERCARS realize that they’d rather die with their secrets than be caught by Interpol. I assume all these explosions took place while speeding through the Swiss Alps en route to Monte Carlo (does one get to Monte Carlo via the Swiss Alps?). I really hope Paul Walker wasn’t hurt. What’s that? You want to watch Paul Walker’s blooper reel from Fast & Furious? Me too!

Wow, I really hope you didn’t watch all of that. I’m sorry, I owe you a coke.

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Back in the early 1990s, Ireland was at the very forefront of white people rapping against rape. Take this soon to be classic, “Rap Against Rape,” as an example. It has everything you’d ever want in a rape rap: Irish people, back-up dancers, and an amazing hook singer. This is by far more effective than my former favorite anti-rape rap, “Things That Make You Go Rape.”

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Remember Noah Garfinkel’s post about the Cami-Secret ? Of course you do because he is your PRINCE. The PRINCE of your FAVORITE blog. Whereas I am but a scullery maid, waiting in the ashes, just hoping for a glimpse from Noah. Anyhoops. I met one Nick Stevens, comedian, last night when he kindly tossed me a few matches so I wouldn’t freeze on the stoop I was huddled against. He then somehow recognized my coal-smudged face as someone who writes for Best Week Ever. And he said, “I saw your Cami-Secret post on Best Week Ever and it inspired me to make a parody video and suddenly it was very popular!” And he took me in from the cold and fed me six hot cross buns.* I did not tell him that it was Noah who deserved his thanks and the buns, but I was so very hungry.

Now, normally I wouldn’t deign to show you something with over a gagillion hits because I have more respect for your Internet ways, but since this success was inspired by Noah’s obsession with boobs, I feel it only appropriate to show this parody video. That, and it’s really f*cking funny. (Language NSFW)

So, hooray, Nick! Congrats on your viral success and I hope that we (Noah) continue to inspire you in similar ways. I’m sure I’ve inspired someone to solve global warming, I just haven’t heard from them yet.

*This has quickly become how I remember A Little Princess

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Whenever I’m worried that I’m stuck in a dream about an eternally joyless internet, “Between Two Ferns” is the pinch that lets me know I’m awake and alive.

This week’s episode with Sean Penn and Zach Galifianakis’ southern, mustachioed ‘brother’ may be the best one yet. Behold, the editorial commentary I get paid to do: I love this video.

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This is a Recap of Top Chef D.C. (Season 7), Episode 12, entitled “Gastro-Nauts”, originally airing September 1, 2010. I was out of this world galaxy space moon asteroid quasar surprised by the outcome of this week’s episode.

It’s the last episode before the Finale, so it’s time to ditch the painful food puns and gimmicky challenges and get to some real cooking…

…Or maybe it’s time to the most do those things.

Before we get to the supergimmick, it’s Quickfire time, and this week the chefs welcome Dana Corwin of Food & Wine magazine by saying how much attention they pay to wine. Wine is one of Angelo’s biggest passions, obviously, because he’s kind of a D-bag. This is also the final high-stakes Quickfire, and the winner gets to go to London for 6 days courtesy of the London Hilton. Angelo wins the wine challenge, obviously, because he’s kind of a D-bag.

Padma then announces that the Finale will be in Singapore. Padma also implicitly announces that she hasn’t done laundry in a while:

After the jump, the Final Five becomes a Final Four. It still alliterates, but it’s one digit closer to not alliterating…

For the final pre-Finale Elimination Challenge, the chefs will go to NASA — the food capital of the galaxy — and cook for a bunch of astronauts, and whoever’s dish would make the best freeze-dried meal will be the winner and have their dish freeze-dried and sold in science center gift shops nationwide. Stupidly, none of the chefs decide to cook a plasma globe.

The chefs are introduced to Vicki Kloeris, NASA’s head fooAAHHHHHH!!!

Why is she lit like that?? Did Bravo cut her evil monologue where she explains her deathlaser?

No time for fear, cause the celebs just keep on coming. Behold, NASA’s very own TJ Creamer and Tracy Caldwell-Dyson:

“We walk in and Tracy Caldwell-Dyson is standing there, and I’m like, OH MY GOD. She does NOT mince words when it comes to seafood. This could be a big moment for my cooking career.”

The chefs shop and cook, Tiffany’s mussels freeze because GE’s appliance is just too damn good, and Kevin talks about not giving up and mentions “We recently took my mom of life support but she kept fighting” (OPINION: Top Chef is less of a big deal than that). The chefs then get a glimpse of their prize: A Toyota Avalon. They all hop in and Angelo gives them a ride to the kitchen while blasting an Asian-influenced miso emulsion on the radio.

This week’s guest judges? Anthony Bourdain — he travels places, like astronauts — and none other than the second man on the moon (and the first man on the Cameo Moon), Buzz Aldrin:

Tom asks Buzz what it was like to walk on the moon. Buzz says “Magnificent.” Tom then asks Paul McCartney what it was like to be in The Beatles. He says “Great.”

The chefs’ dishes are all turning out well, but Angelo — knowing what astronauts love — has a secret ingredient up his sleeve:

Not only has Angelo braised his shortrib with pot, he also tells the judges he “Made love to them.” Sure enough, Angelo ends up being this week’s Quickfire-Elimination double-winner, and judging by the way he caresses the Toyota keys, those shortribs aren’t the only object Angelo made love to that night…

The other four chefs’ dishes are all roundly complimented by the judges, including Bourdain; when Ed unveiled his “Trip to Morocco” dish, I joked in a Bourdain voice “I’ve been to Morocco, so I know this is garbage,” and literally one second later, Bourdain exclaimed “I’ve been to Morocco, and I think Ed nailed it.” Whaa? The chefs are all really, really good all the sudden. Weren’t Ed and Kevin both just totally average, wait-to-be-eliminated dudes in the first few weeks? Well, now they’re apparently awesome, and this field is wide open.

Still, surely they have to come up with some excuse to eliminate Kevin or Ed, right? Not right! Tiffany is eliminated in one of the harshest rounds in Top Chef history — like winning 88 games in the AL East and still finishing 4th (anyone?) — thus totally puncturing my uber-confident Finale prediction. I would’ve bet everything I had on Tiffany from about three weeks ago on, but fortunately, Vegas would’ve been like “Stop trying to bet on this but we appreciate your commitment to Tiffany.” Now, she’s gone. She and I feel about the same way:

So there you have it – your “Out Of This World,” “Reach For The Stars,” “Remember When The Show Was Like Congress And Stuff” Final Four will be Angelo, Kelly, Ed, and in a surprising twist, Kevin:

If I had to pick, I’d probably predict Kelly at this point, unless Angelo can buck the trend of the “suspiciously good from the get-go” guys losing in the finale, but for the second straight season, the Top Chef Finals are looking wide open. My only confident prediction: I’ll make a bunch of lame caning jokes next week.

Tiffany Elimination thoughts? Finale Predictions? Reactions to some actual Top Chef unpredictability? Leave ‘em all in the TITLE OF THIS POST! No, the comments. Was just trying to be unpredictable.

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