Best Television Shows

Archive for November, 2009

Um, obviously, if you haven’t seen last night’s episode yet, blur your vision and scroll downwards. Thank yewwww.

The Amazing Race just got a lot less “tune-innier” last night, as our favorite team in possibly the history of the series were given that all too familiar gentle “pat on the back or was that a shove to the airport?” by hot be-leathered host Phil Keoghan. That team being… The Harlem Globetrotters. Flight Time and Big Easy. Two of the nicest and most hilarious players to ever grace the game. Sadly, Big Easy missed the mark last night when he had to unscramble the letters R-F-Z-A-N, to reveal FRANZ, as in Franz Kafka, who was no doubt rolling over and over and over in his M.C. Escher grave during last night’s challenge. After “working together” with Dan, who left him in the dust once he himself unscrambled the word, Big Easy instead chose to take a 4 hour penalty rather than simply filling out the form 24 different times, the exact amount of combinations F _ _ _ _ could yield. (Factorial math, don’t fail me now.) After that famous Luggage Lock challenge weeks back, it’s clear that Big Easy’s brain is not as jacked up as his body, or, as it is more commonly known, “exactly.”

Now while it is clear that the Gay Brothers Sam and Dan are this seasons “Worst People Ever,” you can’t really blame them for the Globetrotters’ downfall. Sure, Dan is a f*ckface from space who, even without his “deceptions,” is unbearably annoying and rude. But franzly, Big Easy would not have gotten that clue with or without Dan’s “plan.” Working together when there are only 4 teams in the race is equally as stupid. Big Easy could only have benefited from that: Even getting the letter F was a bonus he would not have gotten otherwise.

Having said that (Larry David, are you out there?), my Mother’s exact quote when the Brothers headed towards the Czech Freezatorium was “I hope they freeze their d*cks off.” Needless to say, they are not making any friends in older Jewish mothers living in Miami.

So, who are we rooting for in next week’s finale? Looks like we have no choice but to place our bets on the blond virgins Megan and Cheyne (They are virgins, right? We kind of assumed.) Them, or Brian and Ericka. Really, ANYONE BUT THE BROTHERS.

Today, let’s look back on the Harlem Globetrotters finest moments. Plus, tell us what you thought of last night’s episode… ahead.

That Big Easy… so adorable.

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While looking through the basement of my parents’ house this Thanksgiving weekend, I came across a possession from my childhood that I had completely forgotten about, but which instantly made me proud to have once been a human existing in the early 90s –

This red and blue Steve Urkel backpack:

It was like opening a time capsule I had left myself from a Saturday night in 1993. The backpack was even filled with Topps baseball cards from the early 90s, but not, as I briefly hoped, with deconstructed pieces of Urkel-bot.

Still, the backpack’s meaningful, catchphrasey inscription hearkens back to a simpler time, and dare I say, the golden age of television and arguably human culture as a whole…

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The above photo of Hello Kitty Gumball nails at the Tokyo Nail Expo 2009 still proves one thing: People in Japan still have a lot of trouble wiping themselves. But when they do wipe, it is seriously so adorable you guysss.

More fun nail photos below, but believe me when me and my nausea say: You will feel sick look at them.

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Those local anchors go from being random people with fake smiles to the guiltiest-looking f**kers on the planet:

(via Buzzfeed and Joe My God)

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Yes, it’s true. I spent this weekend with the ‘rents (YM Magazine circa 1995, I know you’re out there), doing some light outlet shopping, and… reading Twilight. But lots of other things happened this weekend too! Here’s our post-T-Day round-up. Let us know how your Thanksgivings went in the comments.

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Hey ‘Gasmii, I’m finally back. I can’t apologize enough for the delays on this recap. As you may recall, the BF and I headed to Los Angeles last weekend where we ate some fine foods (Flipit and I shared a plate of deep-fried mac’n'cheese balls at Hamburger Mary’s on Santa Monica Blvd and giggled and talked trash about the upcoming American Music Awards), tasted some weird drinks (Diet Pomegranate 7-Up With Natural Anti-Oxidant… that was thanks to my Vegan BFF Erick) and took in some culture (we saw the movie “Precious” and I’m afraid the shocked-and-horrified gay-inhale that I let out in the deadly-silent theatre when Mariah-Carey-in-no-makeup first appeared on-screen caused several people around me to glare in my direction). *sigh* So much fun. However, because the theme of my life is often “No good time goes unpunished.”, is it any wonder that I became violently ill upon returning home? Or maybe it was this picture that WaffleBoy forwarded to me…

…of Sexist Pigshit’s playful attempts to fistfuck Fat Kid…

Without going into the TMI-arena, let’s just say that for the next four days bad things were coming out of every end of my body and I was unable to see, smell or taste anything remotely made of (or related to) food. At least I got out of having to vacuum the house for Thanksgiving. In any event, I was very lucky that there was no new episode of Top Chef this past week, so I still have time to catch you all up on the doings of our remaining cheftestants, which basically boiled down to them competing in their own version of the Culinary Special Olympics. Let’s hold hands (mine are clean and disinfected now) and take the jump!…

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On a very special For the Love of Ray J, the girls have to style and direct Ray J in a Sean John photo shoot. The first eleven minutes of the episode are very Adorable-centric so either she’s going to be the winner or she’s going home. She’s one of the more attractive girls so I hope that this doesn’t mean that she’s going home; I can’t take much more of this.

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• At 7, Nickelodeon has two new episodes of BrainSurge.
• At 8, ABC has How The Grinch Stole Christmas, then Shrek The Halls and a new Find My Family.
• NBC has a new Heroes at 8, followed by new episodes of Trauma and The Jay Leno Show.
• FOX has a new House at 8, then a new Lie To Me.
• The CW has two new episodes of One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World, then a new Cake Boss.
• Food Network has a new Christmas edition of Good Eats at 8, followed by Wintertime Treats Unwrapped.
• Also at 8: TCM has The Lady From Shanghai, then Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
• At 8:30, ESPN has Monday Night Football, the Patriots vs. the Saints.
• At 9, USA has a new Monday Night RAW.
• At 10, Lifetime has two new episodes of Rita Rocks.
• Bravo has a new Million Dollar Listing at 10.
• History Channel has two new episodes of Pawn Stars at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

Continue reading What’s On Tonight: House, Good Eats, One Tree Hill, Rita Rocks

Filed under: Late Night, Programming, Celebrities, Talk Show, What To Watch Tonight, Reality-Free

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Hey look, Scrubs is back early!

Oh wait, never mind. That’s just Donald Faison on American Dad. How could I have possibly gotten those two things mixed up? I don’t know why, but I still get a kick out of guest appearances on animated shows, particularly when the actor who plays the actual character jumps in to do their own voice, as Faison did here.

Plus, it was an interaction with Roger. Ah, Roger. Let’s talk about what has to be the single greatest presence of all three Seth MacFarlane shows. I probably don’t mention him enough, because sometimes he’s not as integral to the plots of AD. But, he’s always a huge part of the laughs. As soon as he waddles into a room, you just wait for the zingers or the costume or the antics that will send you off your rocker. His turn this week as a “madame” was sheer brilliance.

Continue reading Sundays With Seth: The best little dry cleaners in Virginia

Filed under: Other Comedy Shows, OpEd, Episode Reviews, Reality-Free

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(S21E07) Poor Wiccans, they’re so misunderstood. And the three girls representing them weren’t really representing Wicca so much as they were representing wayward teens looking for something to latch onto. That, and they probably think their own perceptions of Wicca make it out to be pretty “kewl.”

Struggling for something to latch onto in a world that doesn’t seem to understand you not only describes virtually every teenager in existence, but Lisa Simpson as well. A sweet intellect in a family of average to well-below-average intellects, Lisa has never fit in at home or at school. So, as long as she can be fairly certain that there’s no actual witchcraft going on — because that would be too scary — she’s in.

Continue reading Review: The Simpsons – Rednecks and Broomsticks

Filed under: The Simpsons, Animation, Episode Reviews, Reality-Free

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