15 Things We Learned From Super Bowl XLIV
February 8th, 2010
1. All Honda ads should all begin with the disclaimer “Please Flip to the Puppy Bowl for 30 Seconds”
2. As much as we all love to rip on him, Brett Favre isn’t the only player capable of throwing crippling fourth-quarter interceptions.
3. Married men live a castrated, ghostlike existence of torturous apathy, but at least they have Dodge Chargers / Budweiser / Last Airbender trailers!!!
4. Sean Payton’s testicles boast a circumference five times that of the normal man’s.
5. I incorrectly predicted the outcome of the game, was way off on the score, called the wrong MVP, and generally nothing that I said would happen happened.
6. I was 3-for-4 on The Who’s setlist, so we’ll call my day of predicting a wash.
7. We shouldn’t hold lengthy debates about pro-life commercials until they actually air (my bad). Frankly, I’m now a lot more concerned with Tim Tebow’s beliefs about mom-blindsiding.
8. My “Who are they!” chant didn’t catch on.
9. The NFL correctly decided to scrap their original idea for a Super Bowl MVP prize, a Cadillac with a MANNING vanity license plate featuring his and hers monogrammed MANNING towels in the backseat and a giant “Congratulations Manning!” banner sticking out of the Manningroof (a custom Manning-shaped sunroof).
10. We don’t know Sun Life Financial yet, but WE WILL, MOTHERF***ERS. Sleep with one eye open.
11. Fans and betters alike put way too much stock into the last game the Saints and Colts each played, ignoring the rest of the Saints’ season as a whole. We look forward to completely forgetting we did this and being wrong again next year.
12. CBS couldn’t find Kim Kardashian in the stands.
13. Doritos has cornered the dudes-hit-in-the-nuts demographic.
14. New Orleans is apparently totally fine now. Whew! Thank God for that interception.
15. Seriously, guys, aren’t women d*cks???
What’d you learn during Super Bowl XLIV? Leave some lessons in the comments.
Related posts:
Posted in Best Week Ever